How To Accept Mistakes and Dont Blame Others
Posted by CJCM on September 20th, 2006
Everyone makes mistakes. Mistakes done by us can be caused by us ourselves or by third parties. Often times, we are easily led by our own self esteem and self defence to blame others around us for the mistakes we have committed.
In general, the thought of we are responsible for our own mistakes cannot be comprehended by most of us. This is normal for majority of human being, after all who wants to be blamed for any mistake, regardless of whether it is our or someone else’s mistakes?
However, having someone to blame for our mistakes does not solve the problem by itself and more often than not, it would only create more problem especially in the relationship with that person or everyone else around us.
The only solution to this is to find way for us to accept sole responsibility for our mistakes, learn from the incident, forgive ourselves and get on with lives, without severing any relationship you may already have with any third party. But how to achieve this?
As an example, let say you did not achieve something you want to have, because, from your analysis, someone else had done something he or she shouldnt have done in the first place. Instead of blaming he or she for that, you perform a root cause analysis trying to find the cause of your failure. Sure enough you will get to the point where that someone was the cause of the whole mistake. However, don’t just stop there. Go back one step further and try to think what you could have done to avoid that person from committing his mistakes causing you to lose your goal. Once you find all the possibilities of what you could have done to avoid that person’s mistakes, now you have someone else to blame….yourself…for not doing what you could have done.
You may ask whats the point if we blame ourselves for any mistakes we go through? There are many advantages of accepting mistakes, blame ourselves for it and get on with our lives.
1. Blaming ourselves for our failures avoids possible relationship-related problems with the third party which could only creates more problem making you prone to commit more mistakes.
2. We can train ourselves at finding the root-causes of every problem causing our mistakes, evaluate every possible actions we could have done, thereby presenting ourselves a chance to avoid similar problems in the future.
3. It is easier to forgive ourselves than to forgive others.
I can go on and on and on to list down all the advantages of blaming ourselves but I hope the three reasons above would give you some hints of what I am driving at.
So whatever bad things happen to you, always find out what you could have done to avoid it, blame yourselves for not doing it, forgive yourselves, and get on with lives.
I hope you enjoy this posting, and if you did not it was not your fault, I could have done much better by many other means but I didn’t, so this is my mistake. I will try better in my other posting.
Note:
This post has been submitted to ProBlogger in conjunction with ProBlogger Group Writing Project.
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September 20th, 2006 at 5:56 pm
[…] How to Accept Mistakes and Don’t Blame Others by cjcm […]
September 20th, 2006 at 8:54 pm
Hi CJCM, Great post! I love your humor and the ending was unexpected (bravo!). I wrote a post entitled, Are you a blamer? which gives some alternate ideas for folks to use when they’re ready to start taking personal responsibility.
I’m taking part in the group writing project too. My post is, Everyday Gifts – How You Can Show Your Love Without Spending a Dime. Come by for a visit and let me know your thoughts. Peace.
September 20th, 2006 at 10:41 pm
Communication is key! Great how to. It was funny for me as well! Nice contribution to the Group Writing Project at ProBlogger. My How To is up also.
September 21st, 2006 at 12:21 am
Isn’t it just easier to blame others? LOL
Nice post.
September 21st, 2006 at 7:34 am
Shonnie, looks like your post and my post can complement each other
Matt, your inspiring story is not bad either…lucky Becky to have you as husband.
Jersey Girl, yes its a lot more easier to blame others…:) But after reading this post and Shonnie’s ‘Are you a blamer’ wouldnt it be easier to blame ourselves?
Thanks for stopping by to all of you…C U around.
September 21st, 2006 at 9:46 am
Goodp points here…. I think the key here is to be as objective about the situation as possible… and not jump right into blaming ourselves or blaming others…
September 21st, 2006 at 11:46 pm
Definitely, learning from mistakes and growing is much better than trying to play a blame game. Our how-to is up as well if you’d like to check it out!!
September 22nd, 2006 at 7:22 am
James, MamaDuck, both of you are right..if possible dont even blame ourselves but this article is for those who blame others. If you accept mistakes and learn from it and blame neither yourselves nor others, you cool…:)
September 23rd, 2006 at 8:35 am
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September 23rd, 2006 at 2:04 pm
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September 23rd, 2006 at 8:56 pm
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September 27th, 2006 at 12:17 am
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October 1st, 2006 at 1:01 pm
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October 11th, 2006 at 12:18 am
I was among those craps who seldom admit my mistakes. Kinda perfectionist, things like that. Until one wise guy came up to me and says, ‘Ais, u sucks man, big time! You must accept certain fall back for everyone may not be able to perform the job like you did. Guide them, and thay will in turn gives you more than you’d expected. And stop blaming others, blame yourself first than you can start point your finger, of cse not the middle one!’
That was 4 years ago. now it’s easier for me to say apologise for this and that. I guess we are just too proud to admit mistake, afraid that we might lose the steam, too ego. Sorry is one way showing your own weaknesses, but that’s totally way off, for I believe.
October 24th, 2006 at 9:31 pm
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November 2nd, 2006 at 8:14 am
I like your thinking–it’s so easy to fall into the trap of blaming other people or events for where we have gotten ourselves.
I don’t think you even have to ‘blame yourself’, although that’s a concept most people can grasp. When you move beyond blame to acceptance that you create your own reality, you’ll have life by the tail.